蜘蛛和蜜蜂要结婚了

4 04 2009

蜘蛛和蜜蜂要结婚了。

蜘蛛感到不满意,问他妈妈:"为什么要让我娶蜜蜂呢?"

蜘蛛妈妈说:"蜜蜂是吵了点,人家好歹也是个空姐。"

蜘蛛说:"可是我比较喜欢蚊子。。。"

蜘蛛妈妈说:"不要再想那个护士了,打针都打不好,上次还搞到妈咪水肿!"

蜜蜂也感到不满意,问她妈妈:"为什么让我嫁给蜘蛛?"

蜜蜂妈妈说:"蜘蛛是丑了点,可人家好歹也是搞网络的。"

蜜蜂说:"可我比较爱蚂蚁。。。"

蜜蜂妈妈说:"别再提那个瘦巴巴的工头,整天扛着东西跑,连辆货车都没有。"

蜜蜂说:"那隔壁村的苍蝇哥也不错啊?"

蜜蜂妈妈说:"他是长得帅,可也不能拣个挑粪的呀!"

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Aunt Mildred

4 03 2009

Sharing something amusing.. see if u can understand it..

Aunt Mildred

 

Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.

 

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable an d a burden to someone, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said,’Your heart would be just below your left breast.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later that night…

       

Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to the knee.